As I struggle with squirmy embarrassment and uncertainty only ~four days after making this commitment / issuing this challenge (publish or submit at least 531 words every day) to myself, I acknowledge my fears and remember to employ these tools and affirmations, and read them out loud to myself if I'm feeling doubtful.
Forcing myself to post this publicly as practice ... and because it could help other content creators trying to crank things out with less fear, and be fed by that process even if it doesn't instantly make money.
1. I AM COMMITTED
I do not second-guess this commitment. This is a decision I do not have to make today. I know that this comes FIRST. I rely on myself to follow through with this, efficiently sparing ZERO time on "reconsidering" whether or not it's worth it. I know this commitment is worth it. I am RELIEVED TO SUBMIT to this commitment. I am RELIEVED this decision is already made. I get this done, no matter what. I see the days adding up, and trust I am accomplishing something worthwhile. Even if it's only doing this thing 13 days in a row. 31 days in a row. 365 days in a row. That is something, and I am curious and excited to see what this practice will have led to in 48 days, 73 days ... 531 days from now.
2. GET IT OUT OF THE WAY ASAP IN THE MORNING
The sooner I get done, the more freedom I will have. The sooner I get just this one done, the sooner I get the next day(s)' done. Queued up. Ready to go. With space to rethink, revise ... shift around. Strategically release.
The sooner I get this piece done, the sooner the rest will fall into place.
3. I AM NOT WASHING *ALL* THE DISHES ... I AM JUST WASHING *THIS* DISH
Right now I am not writing *everything*. I am not putting all the connected things together. I am not monetizing them perfectly. I am not writing the entire book or building the whole website it will go on. I am not writing that *other* thing in my head that I think would be better smarter healthier more cathartic strategically more worthwhile. I am writing THIS piece. JUST THIS ONE PIECE, right now, that I have in my hands, flowing out through my fingertips. It doesn't matter if it's stupid or obnoxious or bitchy or ugly or nonsense ... all that matters is this one thing I'm working on now gets done.
4. I AM PRACTICING (not trying to be *perfect)
I don't have to perfectly polish anything right now. It is enough to PRACTICE. I trust I will get better, and this will get easier. But even that is not the point. This is something I love doing. I am using these muscles. I am developing a habit I can rely on myself for. It is intrinsically rewarding, and a practice of practicing. Reminding myself all kinds of practice are good, in and of themselves. Practice ALWAYS leads to growth and transformation. Without controlling the outcome ... by just submitting to the movements. I submit to the practice. It doesn't matter if I have nothing to great to show for it to anybody else. I have THE PRACTICE. The action, the behavior, the habit. The trust it will all grow somewhere good.
5. see also: FAST BAD WRONG
6. WHAT I WRITE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERMANENT
If I don't like it later -- a week or 5 years down the line -- I can retract it, revise it, make it a little bit better. Just like dishes, if I see this dish is dirty or dusty a month or two years later ... I can just wash it again. That time is not now, though. Just whatever the mess is NOW is what I am working on. I'm cleaning up and crafting what is now in my hands.
7. I ACCEPT THAT PRACTICE MEANS FAILURE
I accept that getting better means failing. I accept all the shots that I miss. I am proud of all the shots I have taken. I am proud of everything I have done. Every mistake leads to me getting better. I relish challenges and failure. I relish opportunities to practice. I love looking back later and seeing how far I have come.
8. I HAVE PERMISSION TO ENJOY THE GAME & *GRINDING*
I have an even-more embarrassing amount of hours invested in practicing and trusting that the grind of little repetitive clicks and swipes leads to rewards, leveling up, evolving and transcending what those little motions are as tiny small parts. The sum is greater. This will be EVEN BETTER and MORE REWARDING that that. The webmaster game. The fantasy game. The pleasure writing. The beauty and excellence and CURIOSITY. I am not worried about "wasting time". I've already done that, and I am still alive. I do not waste my time and joy on anxiety. I do not waste my time and joy on fear. As I rise to the challenge of difficulties, I have more ways to be helpful to others.
9. DO THE WORK & LEAVE THE RESULTS TO GO(O)D
I let go of controlling outcomes. I focus on just doing the work. I cannot control the future. I cannot control people's reactions. I do the work now with joy and integrity. I do the work employing my muscles and strengths. What I have control of right now is WHAT *I* DO. I have faith that the results are in God's hands (the reality of the world I cannot control), and that is good. I have 48 years of experience (and all the wisdom of guides lovingly passing down) creating a structurally-strong foundation I can rely on that all my work and efforts make for forward motion. I do not trip out on the future. Fear does not even enter my mind. I focus on the work that's before me.
I don't worry about where it's all leading, or when it is going to pay off. I have faith that the work and practice is worth it. I leave the outcome to God.
10. IT IS POSSIBLE TO GET AHEAD
I am capable of getting some breathing room. Of lining things up to post ahead of time. I can create space and breathing room. Like how many months did it take on some games of learning I can run most levels on auto? I am going to get there with 531 words published a day EVEN FASTER than that! The less time I waste trying to be "perfect", the more time I have to write the next thing I'm excited about ... to add to more storehouse of options.
11. I AM EXCITED WHEN I EXCEED MY QUOTA
I am excited when I get more than 531 words done. I am excited when I get to CHOOSE what I put out. I am excited when I have many options. I am calm, easy and confident when I have a backlog of content. I do not try to push it ALL out today. I savor holding something back for the next day. I enjoy making improvements later. I enjoy discovering opportunities for improvement after I sit on something for a few days or a month.
12. I PUT OFF MARKETING FOR THE END OF THE ___
I wait until I have a week's or a month's or a quarter's worth of content (published and/or queued up) to do the promotion. I go back then and tweak design, monetization and images. And line up promotions advertising and sharing what I have. I don't have to show it off RIGHT away, every day ... the more I practice, the more I will have ready to strategically shout from the rooftops in a coherent and strategic manner. Tactically more excellent, less switching gears, fewer distractions.
13. SMART PEOPLE DON'T STAY THE SAME FOREVER
Smart people improve. Smart people change their minds. Smart people revise their opinions. Smart people adapt to changes. Smart people know they cannot possibly be RIGHT NOW who they are meant to grow into years later. Smart people make mistakes. Smart people make amendments. Smart people are kind and devoted to all of our birthrights to CHANGE.
14. I DO NOT CARE WHEN PEOPLE SEE I'M NOT PERFECT
I do not care when people see I'm not perfect. Imperfection cannot negatively impact me. I am built to be perfectly imperfect. I am imperfect just like everybody else. I am peaceful with my own imperfections. I treat criticism like a cranky little child. I am loving to our fears of failure. I am kind to our fears of fucking up. I am gentle with all our fears of failure. I hold close my fearful inner child. I help myself see all fears with good humor. I accept criticism as fearful attractions to growth opportunities, strong moments of finding ourselves fitting in. I see criticism as moments of connection, of recognition of the same things within. I am calm in response to all criticism. It is none of my business what other people think of me.
15. MY WIFE JUST WANTS ME TO BE HAPPY
I am not afraid of failing or fuck ups. My wife just wants me to be happy. Love is not wanting others to suffer. Love is wanting for each other to be happy. The stronger and more confident I get, the more I have to contribute to her happiness and the happiness of others. The less suffering ... the less suffering.
16. AT WORST IT IS VERY CHEAP THERAPY & EDUCATION
For today I can afford to learn from this even if it winds up being a mistake.
17. I USE THE RESOURCES MY TEACHERS INVESTED IN ME
I value the knowledge, work and encouragement given to me by Mrs. Carlson, Erlandson, Mejlander, Yeend, god what was his name the macbeth class, Kitchen, Allison, Myra Breckenridge, and Bukowski.
